Working on my new mixtape; is this a good verse?

Nope, I don't like it. It's not my style, but that's not why I don't like it. It just does make sense, and it barely rhymes. I couldn't understand the point you were trying to get across. I'm sorry man, but I don't like it. As someone who has attempted to write rap music for recreation and has had some sort of success with it, I have an idea of what's good and what's bad. This is bad.